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Our marriage secret

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Yesterday I visited one of my favorite Bartlesville destinations, the Bartlesville Public Library. There is a darling college girl who works there that I have become friendly with over the years. I think we bonded over Young Adult books. I haven’t seen her much lately because she’s now working in the reference section and I’m in and out of the library as fast as I am the grocery store even though I love it more.

Anyway, yesterday she she was at the front desk. She saw me and said, “Haven’t you been married for a long time?” I told her that yes, we have been married for almost 31 years now. She asked if we are happy. Again, I told her yes. And she asked why.

Whoa. Hmmm. On the spot. Why. Why?

I could see she really wanted the answer to this question and I didn’t want to just give her something just for the sake of saying something. I wanted it to be the answer that she wanted, the answer that would be helpful.

So I told her that David and I couldn’t be more different. Seriously, I couldn’t even come up with the words that would describe just how different that we are but I told her that we love each other and have common life goals. That we never disagreed on how to raise our kids because we share the same moral fabric, the same life plans, goals, dreams. I told her that in our difference we completely compliment each other.

I asked her if she was doing a school project and she said no, that she and her boyfriend are discussing a future. She said she has seen so many people who are miserable in their marriages and wanted to find someone who wasn’t and find out their secret. I felt honored that she would ask me such an important question.

As I was walking home, I thought a lot about our conversation and remembered a Thematic Reflection that I gave back in 2007 at Greater First Baptist Church. It contains the secret to our 28 year marriage. I have now dug that reflection out of my files and printed it for her. I’ll give it to her the next time I see her.

As I told her, it’s not always easy to be married but that anything worth having is worth fighting for. David and I have fought for what we have all these year later and we are blessed. I pray that my darling college friend is equally blessed in her life and her future marriage.

“I mean” is the new “um”

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There’s a relatively new phenomenon that’s about to make me crazy. If you haven’t noticed it yourself already, just listen to anyone who is being interviewed. Radio, tv, print. It’s all the same. The interviewer asks the question and the interviewee reponds, “I mean…blah blah blah.”

What? The person hasn’t said one thing yet so why are they clarifying what they mean? Did they say something in their head? Do they think they said it out loud? This confuses me.

I think that “I mean” is the new “um” or “ah”. A delaying tactic that would be better taken care of by simply slowing down and taking a breath. A little regrouping before answering the question will allow the resultant answer to inform instead of confuse.

In my opinion, awareness of this habit is the first step in overcoming it. I’d be willing to bet that those who say this (and there are a lot of them) aren’t really even aware that they are doing it in the first place. Just becoming aware of the fact that they are using “I mean” for a crutch will be a huge step towards tossing the crutch away.

Be sure to be present when you are answering the question. If you are focused on what you are doing and saying right at that moment and not distracted with what you are going to do after the interview it will help you listen to yourself and help you to make your point more clearly.

Listen up. If you haven’t heard the “I mean” phenomenon, you will now and you will see just how prevalent it is. But an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure and I would bet money that you will stop yourself before the next time “I mean” comes out of your mouth at the wrong time.

Cherry almond crockpot oatmeal

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I made some pumpkin pie oatmeal the other night, overnight and I didn’t like it. Two reasons:

  1. I used extra old steel cut oats. I’m not sure I like the steel cut oats anyway but these were old and they had an odd taste and
  2. I made it directly in the crock pot so it got all brown and baked on around the edges.

So…last night I wanted to try cherry pie oatmeal. This is what I did differently:

  1. I used rolled oats that I have around here all the time and go through like water so they were fresh and…
  2. I put the whole thing into another bowl inside the crock pot essentially giving it a water bath all night and the result was creamy oats!

Cherry Almond Oatmeal

2 cups rolled oats
5 cups of water
1 bag Dole frozen cherries (shocked to find them at Walmart!)
2 tsp almond extract

Place all ingredients into a glass bowl that will fit inside of your crock pot. Add about 3 inches of water to the crock pot, set the bowl of oats inside, cover and heat on low all night.

This was amazing. I’m really trying to watch fat and sugar so I know this could be even better with the addition of real almonds and sugar but the way I just wrote it is wonderful!

Whole Wheat Cinnamon Rolls

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Saw this recipe the other day and thought, why not? I then proceeded to change much about it. The resultant rolls are awesomely good. 🙂

Whole Wheat Cinnamon Rolls

Dough:

3 teaspoons yeast

1 cup warm fat-free milk (100° to 110°)

1/4 cup butter, softened

1/4 cup sugar

1/2 teaspoon salt

2 large eggs

2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour, divided (about 11 1/4 ounces)

1 1/2 cups whole wheat flour (about 7 ounces)

Filling:

1/4 cup packed brown sugar

1 1/2 tablespoons ground cinnamon

¼ cup melted butter

Glaze:

3/4 cup powdered sugar, sifted

3/4 teaspoon vanilla extract

5 teaspoons fat-free milk

Place flours and sugar in mixing bowl add yeast and mix. Place butter in milk and warm until butter is almost melted. Mix into flour. Add eggs. Mix for 8 minutes until dough is incorporated into and is elastic.

Cover and let rise in a warm place (85°), free from drafts, 1 hour or until doubled in size. (Gently press two fingers into dough. If indentation remains, dough has risen enough.) Punch dough down; roll into a 16 x 12-inch rectangle on a floured surface.

To prepare filling, combine brown sugar, cinnamon, and melted butter; sprinkle over dough, leaving a 1/2-inch border. Roll up rectangle tightly, starting with a long edge, pressing firmly to eliminate air pockets; pinch seam to seal. Cut the dough into 6 rolls. Place the rolls, cut sides up, in a 13 x 9-inch baking pan coated with cooking spray. Cover and let rise 45 minutes or until doubled in size.

Preheat oven to 375°. Bake for 15-20 mins.

Sprechen sie Deutche?

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I don’t speak a foreign language, really. I took German in high school and still remember enough to get English menus for the family if in Germany but I’m certainly not fluent.

Brandon is pretty close to fluent in Spanish. We were discussing this over dinner last night and Geoff wanted to know if Erika speaks Spanish or English when she speaks to her mom. Brandon said she speaks Spanish but it was okay because he understands what they are saying. He was feeling kind of proud that he is so good at a foreign language while the rest of us aren’t. So we tried to change his mind.

Me: Hola!

Geoff: Como estas!

David: Taco Bueno!

I remembered the Aldi house Mexican food brand Casa Mamita which reminded me of a restaurant I saw in Tulsa called Casa Papacito’s. I then called Brandon “papacito” several times but somewhere along the line, papacito morphed into papito which I proceeded to call him several more times until he said, “and stop calling me potato!”.

Gales of laughter. In fact I was laughing so hard I was crying. I’m still laughing.

My google English to Spanish translator says that papito is the same as papacito (translated: daddy) but the hilarity factor of thinking it was potato was worth the deception. 🙂

No, I don’t speak Spanish but I know some words. 🙂

Mmmm pancakes!

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I love pancakes. Really my favorites are the ones you get at a greasy spoon restaurant. You know the restaurant. The one that leaves the smell of breakfast in your hair and clothes for the rest of the day. Anyway, since it’s not healthy to eat at places like that all the time, but I still like to eat pancakes, we usually eat Whole Wheat Pancakes at home on the weekend.

I’ve recently gotten my favorite recipe back. When we moved to this house over four years ago, everything that didn’t fit here in the Garage Mahal went into storage in the Big House. This included my two book cases full of cookbooks which David recently unearthed for me.

The first book I grabbed was Jane Brody’s Nutrition Book. I got the book back in 1981 when it was first published and it contains my pancake recipe. It’s healthy but more importantly it tastes good. The kids have been eating and enjoying the pancakes since they were babies and you know how picky kids can be. They even passed the Dinner Roll Rottmayer (early name for Geoff) test.

Whole Wheat Pancakes

1 1/3 cups whole wheat flour
2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp of salt (I never add salt to anything but feel free)
1 egg, slightly beaten
1 1/3 cup milk
1 tbs (packed) brown sugar
1 tbs oil (we use olive)

Grease the griddle if not well seasoned or nonstick. Heat the griddle while mixing the batter (water sprinkled on it should bounce when it’s ready to use.) Mix together the flour, baking powder, and salt. Beat egg, milk, sugar and oil together. Add the liquid mixture to the flour mixture, stirring only to moisten the dry ingredients (batter should be slightly lumpy). For each pancake, pour about 1/4 cup batter onto the hot griddle. Cook until pancake is covered with bubbles and its edges slightly dry. Turn and brown on other side.

These are terrific with syrup and an over easy egg on top. 🙂

What I have in common with Malia Obama

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I was in first grade when I learned that there wasn’t really a Santa Claus. Seven is an awfully young age to have all of the excitement of Santa let out of your life like a balloon whirly gigging around the sky until it’s empty, lying spent on the ground.

At first I was horrified. What do you MEAN there is no Santa Claus?? “It’s true,” my best, very sage and only child, friend assured me.

I didn’t believe her. Not at all. I mean, every Christmas for as long as I could remember, we had written letters to Santa and then put them in the lit fireplace so they could wend their way to the North Pole for Santa to see. We left cookies and milk out before we went to sleep on Christmas eve and there were crumbs on the plate and a film of milk left on the glass when we got up. But the cookies and milk were gone. EVIDENCE: there IS a Santa Claus. Also, we also usually got the toys that we had asked Santa for. More evidence.

Pondering all of this, I thought I would catch her up and expose her lies. “Okay, well if there is no Santa, where do all of those toys come from?,” I asked her. “Your parents buy them for you,” she said. Now I knew she was just pulling my leg because I knew there was no way that my parents would EVER buy all of those toys for us.

The remembering and retelling of this story is funny so I was chuckling again this a.m. when I read the article about how the Obamas leave the gift giving to Santa at Christmastime.

“Malia says, ‘I know there is a Santa because there’s no way you’d buy me all that stuff.’ ”

Could that have been any closer to what I said 40+ years ago to my friend, Lisa and then my parents?

Santa is magic. Our boys believed in Santa a little bit longer than I was allowed to believe and it was not only magical for them but also for us to witness their excitement during the days leading up to and the exciting morning of Christmas.

And so, I am eagerly looking forward to our future grandchildren so we can perpetuate the magic that is Santa Claus.

Thanksgiving “tradition”

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This is a story that makes me laugh every time I think about it or tell it. When the boys went away to college, they only came home on holidays and sometimes, due to their sports schedules, not every holiday.

Our oldest, Brandon, made it home for Thanksgiving one year from Tulane University. We were getting ready to watch the football games and he said, “where’s the tradition?”

The tradition? I had no idea what he was talking about and asked him.

He said, “You know, the peanuts and M&Ms that we eat while we watch the football game”.

So now, every Thanksgiving, we make sure and have “tradition” for him.

Tradition Recipe

1 jar salted peanuts
1 bag plain M&M’s

Mix together in a large bowl and enjoy!

Wishing you and yours a wonderful and blessed Thanksgiving! 🙂

Carrot and Cilantro Soup

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A month or so ago, I entered a contest at ChicGalleria.com to win the Great Taste, No Pain series by Sherry Brescia. I won!

I am always on the lookout for tasty recipes and ideas to contribute to our healthy eating and I was excited to learn that I won these books.

Today, I made the Carrot and Cilantro Soup. The list of ingredients held two that I adore: cilantro and coriander. I LOVED it! David was less enthusiastic but he’s really a meat and potatoes kind of guy and the potatoes are blended (therefore hidden!) and there is no meat. The soup was so good I wanted to suck it through a straw. 🙂

Here’s the recipe:

Carrot and Cilantro Soup

2 tbs olive oil
2 tbs butter or Earth Balance
1 large Vidalia onion, chopped
3 stalks celery, sliced
2 medium potatoes, chopped
2 pounds carrots, cut into 1 1/2″ chunks
6 cups vegetable broth (I used homemade)
3 tsp ground coriander
1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro (or 1 tbs dried)
Salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste

Heat oil and butter in a Dutch oven or soup pot over medium heat. Saute’ onion for 3-4 minutes until slightly softened. Add celery and potatoes to the onion in the pan, cook for a few minutes and then add the carrots. Saute’ for 3-4 minutes, stirring frequently. Cover, reduce heat to low and “sweat” vegetables for 10 minutes. Gently shake the pan or stir occaisionally so the vegetables do not stick to the bottom.

Add the broth, bring to a boil and then cover and simmer for 10 minutes or until the carrots and ptoatoes are tender. Remove from heat and cool slightly.

Process the soup in batches in a food processor or blender until smooth. Return soup to pan, stir in coriander, cilantro and salt and pepper to taste. Reheat over low heat and serve immediately.

YUM! This was terrific. I will definitely make it again and hopefully David is out of town so I can have it all for myself. 😉

Pumpkin Pie Bread

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It’s fall even though it doesn’t feel like it in Oklahoma. Fall requires pumpkins. Since Brandon is currently living at home, I decided to make some pumpkin pie bread which I am sure he will love and I won’t have to eat alone! 🙂
When I was staying out in Oregon with my mom last month, I was going to make pumpkin bread for her. I was looking for a recipe that called for pumpkin pie spice to limit the number of spices that I would have to buy. After much searching, I found this recipe at allrecipes.com. Yum! 🙂

Pumpkin Pie Bread

“This very moist pumpkin bread, simply seasoned with pumpkin pie spice, really needs no other adornment.”

INGREDIENTS:

3 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
3 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice
1 teaspoon salt
3 cups white sugar
1 cup vegetable oil
4 eggs
1 (15 ounce) can pumpkin puree
1/2 cup water

DIRECTIONS:
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease two 9×5 inch loaf pans. Sift together the flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, and pumpkin pie spice. Set aside.

2. In a large bowl, beat together sugar, oil, eggs, and pumpkin. Stir in flour mixture alternately with water. Divide batter evenly between the prepared pans.

3. Bake in the preheated oven for 60 to 70 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean. For best flavor, store wrapped in plastic wrap at room temperature for a full day before serving.