A couple of weeks ago, my pageant director made a change in the wardrobe requirements for the pageant. She had originally said we needed denim shorts for an event where we would wear our pageant tee shirts. I was happy with that because I saw that the contestants last year had to wear white shorts and white shorts are not something I wear. Ever.

White shorts are just so … white.

And see through.

But the wardrobe change that came forth was white shorts instead of the denim shorts. Along with that, white shoes. I don’t wear white shoes. Ever.

Except walking shoes but those get dirty so fast they are white in name only.

This change threw me for a bit of a loop. Being new to San Jose, I wasn’t sure where to find a store that I could buy white shorts from. Now, after searching for white shorts, I’m a pro at finding any store in a 50 mile radius. And I think I can get there without using GPS. Bonus points.

By yesterday, I was really running out of options and the pageant is two weeks away. I have two pairs of white shorts here at the house. One that I ordered online that doesn’t fit and one that is my plan Z if I can’t find plan A.

My biggest problem is the fact that my waist is so small compared to my hips. There is always a HUGE gap in the back when they fit everywhere else. I went into one store last week. I saw there on a rack, “Gapless Waistband!” I was so excited!

“Get me into a dressing room with a pair of those shorts!” I told the sales lady.

I rushed to try the shorts on seeing the finish line of my white short search looming in the near distance. 

I put the shorts on, zipped them up, and… probably the biggest gap I’d seen in any pair of shorts I’d tried up to that point. In fact, it was so big, I actually came out of the dressing room to show the sales lady.

“You see? This is what I’m dealing with,” I said as she sadly shook her head.

So yesterday, in one of my last ditch ideas I thought of Lane Bryant. Over the years of being overweight, I shopped at Lane Bryant a lot. They have cute clothes. They also have long jeans that are truly long. They start at a size 14 which is where I am right now. 

I went in and walked up to a lady folding shirts. 

“I need your help urgently to save my life,” I said.

“Okay,” she replied, not looking up from what she was doing.

“I have to buy a pair of white shorts for a pageant I’m competing in in two weeks. I’m not having any luck and I hope you can help me.”

She finally looks up. “We don’t have your size here.”

OMG! Did I just hear what I thought I heard??!!! She doesn’t have my size.

Stunned, thrilled, happy, excited, I trailed after her as she went to get a size 14 off the rack and take it to the dressing room. I never told her what size I was but size 14 is the smallest size they carry. 

The shorts fit, they look good. Woo hoo! While I was trying to calm down because of the fact my search for white shorts was finally at an end, I completely forgot what she had said to me earlier until after I left the store.

I paid for the shorts, thanking her profusely for saving my life.

She said, “You’re beautiful. Good luck in your pageant!”

I thanked her again and left. As I was going down the elevator, I remembered again what she said to me about not having my size. 

White shorts purchased + being told at Lane Bryant “we don’t have your size” = day made! 😀