…well, she is me.

And how would I really know how heavy I am? David persuaded me to leave my scale behind when we moved to Amarillo. His justification was that the RV isn’t so big that we have room for every little thing and he thought the scale would be better off in our bathroom in Bartlesville.

Well, it’s not JUST a little thing. How am I supposed to know if I’m gaining tons of weight here?

True confession time: I will admit that I’ve been addicted to the scale for many, many years. I have a history of disordered eating that I like to think I’m finally past. There are two things I can’t seem to let go of, though, and one of them is the scale.

Last weekend David had to attend some meetings in Dallas and I made plans to visit with my friend, Denise. I had a brilliant idea:

So I got there and even though I had eaten breakfast, had coffee, was in clothes, I was still 5 lbs less than I was when we left Bartlesville. My day was so HAPPY!

While I realize that basing my happiness on a scale number is ridiculous, I can’t tell you how terrified I was that I was just gaining weight hand over fist.

One of the things we decided prior to moving was that we would never have sugar or flour and anything “bad” in our RV home. There have been days when it’s been tough, usually David is gone and I’m missing him and a nice slice of chocolate cake sounds like a good idea.

But I haven’t given in. David almost did. And it crushed me.

When we were shopping on Saturday, all of a sudden, I saw a package of flour tortillas in the shopping cart.

Me: Are you really going to buy those and bring them into the RV?

Him: Yes.

Holy cow. I was crushed. I mean seriously, I felt betrayed. It must have been on my face like my emotions are a lot and he eventually put the tortillas back on the shelf. I thanked him.

We have been eating mostly Paleo since November of 2010. What I know about that is that we feel so much better when we eat this way. But I have a big sweet tooth and an incredible ability to follow a bad idea (foodwise) to it’s hurtful (oh my aching joints!) conclusion. I knew that if those tortillas got into the RV, it would be the beginning of the end.

David travels and I know he doesn’t eat as healthfully when he’s on the road. He really needs to let that be the only time.

We are heading home for Labor Day weekend. I will visit the scale and it’s very likely I will bring it back with me. I can always store it under the mattress. 🙂